HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

......It is that time of the year when all the kids go crazy for treats, I used to love going trick-or-treating...it was great, went until I was 17 when I finally stopped...me being greedy!! LOL....anywho things are absolutely insane for me these days, just so much going on, more family issues have arisen, I can honestly say I cannot wait for 2004 to end, hopefully things will get better next year. It just depresses me even more thinking at christmas time things will be tough...I have more ppl to buy for, but I think I am going to have to stop being so generous....I have a friend that I have been good friends for since high school almost 10 years..and she has 3 wonderful kids and it was easy to shop for them when it was just one or even 2, but the oldest is spoiled and that in parts is our fault...but we just cannot afford it anymore, he wants things that are just too expensive...but I will just have to start really early...man I love Walmart...hehehehehe....so other than that I am in training, working on macintosh computers..a cute little joke I had with a friend, was once you go MAC you never go back...the oldest line used for just about everything...from computers to men....lol...but I am absolutely impressed! Things are so much easier, they are great to use and I think it is the whole idea of a computer consisting of a monitor with everything in it..even a DVD burner....Saweet! LOL..my only issue with this particular computer is there is no right click, something I have become obsessed with on my pc along side the scroll mouse...ok now I sound like a computer person..was gonna say geek, but I am not that smart...LOL....but I am gonna miss the old ppl that I was on the previous contract with...I like learning about new stuff and getting paid an extra 50 cents an hour isnt to bad either....I have most of them on messenger and it is not like it is that far away...up a set of stairs and to the right....ok so u ever get to a point in your life where you really start thinking about things, your future and your surroundings??? Well I was talking to someone and they told me that when they turned 30 they just looked at life through another set of eyes...had some friends that just wouldnt look through the light and grow the fuck up and they said that it felt good....I have been here since 1994 and when I first moved here, I hated it, got some friends starting getting a life and than really enjoyed it here...when I turned 19 and went to univeristy life was better, or so I thought, drinking every thursday friday and sat....it was nuts..the party life was great, I never wanted it to end. But when I graduated in 2001 and started working where I am now, it just made me think of things. My life is going no where, just keep going around in a circle, the same bullshit comes and goes and comes and goes. I have met some wonderful ppl there and I have met some ppl I wish I never met. Saw a lot of true colors from a lot of ppl I thought I was close with and even messed up a friendship I had for years..over BS...so it has been almost 3 years since I have been working here and I think I have had enough. Part of me just wants to pick up and move away and not tell anyone, but than there is the other side of me who will feel guilty for leaving so many ppl behind. Friends that I have been through thick and thin with...but I am mentally exhausted, I am too old for this shit and I dont know why I just dont leave it all behind me. There are some ppl who I know will NEVER change and that is sad, because they are wonderful ppl, and wish nothing but the best, but I dont know what to say or do, Sometimes I tend to put myself in the middle of things and I just cannot help it, especially when ppl are gullible and dont see things in any other way but from what they want to believe. I dont profess to be perfect, but I have always been one of those ppl to highly believe in instincts..and I can honestly say, without patting my own back...I have been right 80% of the time, if not more....what do I do?? It is an old song and dance..and with what I am writing has NOTHING to do with any particular thing going on in my life these days...I just found that I really dont have anyone to talk to, so I feel that writing what I am feeling is very theraputic....I am not suicidal...just upset that no-one really asked me how I have been feeling...or how my grandfather is...or are you ok??? Tiffany has....and I am thankful for that....I have one person to help me with most, but I just cant tell her all....because she wouldnt want to know, and I dont want to tell....on that note...

I am gone...........

its been a while, I am actually really tired today, for some reason the more sleep I get the tired I am the next day, and life is not good, because I am working a 10-hr shift..yuck, was really hoping that I would be off today because of training but there is a whole mixup and have to start training on wednesday...training....I swear I can be certified I have trained more times than I care to shake a stick at. But oh well I am getting a pay raise and that is cool. Life is pretty much the same, went to the movies the other night, had a good time, had a good scare....sometimes u just need that. But anywho...last night I saw a hummer limo, well actually the first time I saw it was the other night, they are sweet, I couldnt imagine driving one of them, it would make life great...Well I couldnt afford the gas money, with it being 94 cents a litre and almost 4.00 bucks a gallon...crap....so this blog sucks, nothin to say, I am all alone...no friends online to chat with....no one loves me....oh well life will be better as the week goes on....k well that is it I think for now, I may blog later....maybe....

IF ITS GONNA HAPPEN IT WILL HAPPEN TO ME!!!

....wondering whats up with the title, I have come to the conclusion that my life is crazy. I dont know what to do anymore. I am confused, I want a better job, but I just cant get myself into getting a better one. I dont know what I need. I am also thinking about where I am emotionally in my life. I am thinking about things a lot and there are questions I have and hoping one day I can get the answers. But anywho enough of the deep shit, last night there was an adventure...lmao..got off work on time, 9:00pm. So me and Tiff went for a coffee, Tanya was chillin with her other friends...so anywho, we go have a bite to eat. I am addicted to Mcdonalds these days, I swear I am going to turn into a chicken..had some nuggets and got some of that monopoly money. I love that place..I wish I would win something from there, dont care what...but anywho..after we ate, we decided to go for a drive around town, just to see if there was anything going on...any cuties on the go...lol...well we found some, stopped at a stop sign and looked over and these guys were starting, so we roared.Next stop sign, they waited for us to catch up and looked again, the friend in the passenger side smiled and even waved at us! Which was cool...so what insane ppl do here is play tag, so we drove around a couple of times just being playful waving and laughing as we passed each other. We were gonna go home, but decided one last trip just to see if the guys were still there, they were also driving a 2 door sunfire, so we have one thing in common..but anywho they ended up going to a bar, and us with NO MAKEUP ON, not gonna happen. So we stopped at the car dealership, so Tiff can check out the car she is thinking of getting when she moves back home...after that we decided to go for a coffee, well I don't drink Coffee, so I ended up getting a hot chocolate. We were just sitting in Tim Horton's just having a laugh and talking about the ppl and what we wanted to do with the rest of our lives, nothing real special...we ended up there until 12:30 or so, it was cool. As we sat there, we saw a ton of drunk kids, just walking around town, and coming in periodically to use the bathroom, it was funny...one guy comes in and Tiff says did u see him, he is drunk, he even had his zipper down half way...so we roared, I checked him out as he came out of the bathroom...so still just chatting, buddy comes up to us and says do I know you guys, we looked at each other and said No, and he said "are you sure", we were like "ya we are positive"..thinking he would leave right?? Wrong....he said to us "wanna go for a ride"..we were like ahhhh NO, his eyes were so blood shot it isnt even funny, and like I am going to go for a drive with a stranger..get a grip...than he said "do you have boyfriends" immediately I said yes..tiff said yes a couple of seconds later...he is like "both of you" we said yep...than he says my name is Jack...Tiff never said anything, I told him my name and than he just stared at us, and was like are you sure you dont want to go for a ride, we were like no, but thanks anyways...so he left, and as he walked away we roared uncontrollably..it was insane, he had to be maybe 18 I will give him that. Seems like I am on a roll, got all the guys coming up now, beating them with a stick...lol...so as we were leaving Tiff talked to the girl behind the counter and we were just shooting the shit, talkin, she said u wanna see drunks, come in on a friday night,everyone will tell u they love you, it is hilarious. The sad thing is when I used to drink every weekend, I was probably one of those ppl that said that...OMG, that is too funny...the sad thing is we might just go some friday night...too funny!!! So on that note, life is still crazy as ever. GTG...Messenger is calling my name....

OK So I think I am giving up the bar scene..I know I will not but after you read what happened last night you might think the same thing. So last night is my friends bday so I went to the bar, had a few drinks and had a good time. Talked to a lot of ppl that I work with and met some weird ass ppl too, they are everywhere right? ...LOL.. I was going to go up to a friend and ask him to dance and this guy comes up to me...for once I found someone who had all their teeth and was my age....inside joke...will tell sometime...so we are dancing and holding hands and we ask each other our names and he says, do you have a boy friend? So me being honest I said nope. So he starts kissing my neck and we are talking about work....so than it is my turn to ask, if he has a girlfriend and he says yes, and she is home...im like ok...get away from me..so than we are still dancing and we are talking about our jobs..at this point I dont care, I just want to get away...so it gets better, I told him I have the worst job...working at a call center...he fucking thought I said I was a hooker....like yes there are times I am being bendy or used and abused...but I aint no ones bitch...lmao...nobody puts baby in the corner....lmao....so I am like ok, thank you have a nice life...but guess what he fucking says next....hey u wanna go out to the back there and you know.....me what?? run the fuck away!! AH yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...I am like no..I cannot believe that! So the song ends I told him I am going to the bathroom and he said I will wait for you there...I ran over to talk to Wayne, a friend of mine works as a bouncer there....he was in shock with what that guy said, so I kinda stuck with him for a while to make sure he knew to stay away from me..only me is all I keep thinking of...but u would think that after all that I would just be able to go home and have a good nights sleep...NOT...lol...yes there is more.....got a free drive home which is cool, saves me 6 bucks in taxi fai..so as I am being driven away from the bar, I was with a friend and her hubby...she was in a cranky mood, not sure what happened, dont care either..so she wanted pizza, so we drove for pizza..she told her man to get out and get her pizza...well I am telling you I would not want to be in that home that night.....so just the tension with them it made me wish I could click my feet and go back to Kansas....he was drunk and she was sober, so that might be the cause of the tension. So we are eating our pizza..and I am half way to snooze ville....driving him home, she wants me to go with her for the drive to take her baby sitter home...felt like forever but when I did get home it was the best thing that ever happened. I had the best sleep and now I am telling u all about it. Next post will be back to the old school...just had to write about this..cause it was a story worth telling...lol

Ok Lets go wayyyyyyy back...lol...well not to far back, dont want to think of my parents producing me...mental pic...definately not needed...lol...lets see I was born in Halifax in the month of July...that would make me today...26....lol...when I was 3 my parents moved to California for a "better way of life" or as they thought was the best thing to do, we travelled by train, and that is where I spent about 13 years of my life..had quite and interesting life if I do say so myself. We lived in pretty cool places and when I was 5 my brother was born. We have always been close and to this day we still are. Which is something I am proud of. I went to a private school from the ages of 5-10. The school's name was Punkin School...yes Punkin...stupid name but had some great times there. It was a very productive school, lots of activities and I remember alot of play time....lol...the sad thing about the younger days is my parents had everything taped so if I want to watch myself be a ham, I can put in the old vhs tapes. Soon which will be extinct....lol..it is so weird, because I really dont remember doing a lot of school work, but I guess when you are that young, play time is more important. So lets see I had a lot of good friends there and eventually my brother ended up there the same time I was. Seems like my whole life we were together. Anywho...the funny thing is when I went to other schools as I got older, I ran into a lot of ppl in other schools and it was too funny. The ppl who ran the school were a married couple, Steve and Debbie Katch from what I remember they were a hippy couple, he had a bushy head of hair and a huge as mustache and she had long dark hair and always wore weird sunglasses...eventually they had a kid, his name is Dustin, and all I remember is her constantly breast feeding him, the tit was everywhere...lmao....what a sad life....but anywho they were really sweet and from what I know now the school is still there but they are divorced. The layout was a huge ass house in the front and in the backyard was the school and a huge sand box...they must have bought it that way, who knows tho...they could have been renting the place how would I know, I just went to play...bah...the one violent memory I have from there is the time in 1987 when there was a huge ass earthquake, my mother was driving us there and she was pregnant with my sister. The car just stopped and we were getting ready to open the door and the first quake hit, I think it was on the richter scale of 7.0..I think...well the car just moved like I never thought it could ever move back and forth and up and down...of course I am shitting in my pants...about 2 min later when it ended we ran into the school, of course when there is an earthquake you must go to a doorway, or under a table. There was no one in school, of course except Me, Mom,Joey,Steve, Kathy and Dylan...my mother went into the school because I was worried about my Dad and wanted to talk to him to make sure he was ok. We didnt want to go into the school because there are a lot of windows surrounding the whole school and if they break well than we would get hurt....I remember playing outside with my teddy ruxpin and Joey trying to break his lips off...I was 9 and he was 4 years old at the time....I am not sure how long we were there, but eventually we did try calling my dad and just as the phone rang the whole school started to shake again..it was scary, I was crying and ended up dropping the phone on the floor and running under a table. My mother was outside yelling to me to get under a table. It was me and my buddy Dylan under the table hugging...now that I think of it how cute is that...but anywho the shaking ended and my mom came running in and we talked to my Dad...that night we all went out for dinner....that was ohhh 17 years ago...gees how time flies...k well that is enough for now...I will write more later...

mmmk so nothing new going on, My grandfather is still not doing the best, I have been good going to visit him on a daily basis, I go when I can. The weird thing is I never had a close relationship with him, when my parents were married one year my grandfather came to Los Angeles and stayed with us for a long time, that was back in 1987, when my sister was born...please I still cannot believe a lot of times how quick time passes. I remember the day she was born....maybe what I might do is blog some stories about my past and about me...but anywho back on track. He is glad to see us all visit, but I think he thinks something is up. All of a sudden no one is around to visit and now we are all there. But it is not like I was really avoiding him all this time. He knew we were back living in Canada, I am here for 10 years. He is a cranky old man and he just wanted to be left alone. He has had a rough life and did some shitty ass things in his days. Like beating his wife and children on a daily basis, and a constant drunk. But that is one thing my dad always shared with me and one reason why he does not have a close relationship with him to this day. Not sure what the prognosis for my grandfather at this time, but he still has little or no circulation in his legs and if that cannot be helped than he will never be able to go live at home, he might end up moving to a nursing home, which atleast if he were alive that would be good. But sometimes I wonder if I would like to live in as much pain as he is living in now. I feel so bad, because the pain in his eyes it just makes me want to curl up and cry. Medicine is not helping him AT ALL, but I dont know what to do....

...so I have come to the conclusion that I think I am going to blog some stories about my life and what got me to where I am now....

Lets see how this turns out

Ok well it is Tuesday, get a day of from work, which is always nice. I am getting ready to go into training, for yet another contract. Which is cool, getting a 50 Cent raise, which is awesome, and there is a possiblity that I will be away from my work building for that entire time. They say the training is either 38 or 34 days, I always get the shitty end of the training stick, so I am guessing I will get the shorter time...lmao. The one big thing I actually like about my job is the different contracts I have been on and the ability to learn new things. When I first started working there, I knew how to get online and do basic shit, but now I can built computers, reinstall windows, connect with dial up and cable and even work with different version of windows...ok enough of work, I am boring myself and I am the one writing it...LOL...
...ok so I am thinking alot about my life...my grandfather is deathly ill, they dont think he is going to live much longer, which is really sad, the weird thing is I was never really close to him, but he is my only biological grandfather, my father's Father, I am going to visit him, because he really doesnt have any family down here. I was there to see him on Sunday night and he was alert, but he is also doped up on drugs, he has no circulation in his legs, no use of his right leg and he is not a good candidate for surgery because they feel like he will not survive if they operate. I could tell he was happy to see me, and the reality never hit me until I saw the bracelet on his wrist...DNR...Do Not Recesitate....not good...I am sure the Dr's are taking care of him...He was a bad alcoholic and treated his family like shit, he bet my grandmother and all his kids years ago. He even chased my mom around the house one time, wanting to grab her...but I am sure he is not proud of his mistakes and I can never judge him on that. My father is coming to town next week, wish it was for better circumstances, but it is important he is here to be with him, and I am going to do my part and support him. I love my grandfather and this is hard to say, but I dont think I will cry when he passes, I was never close to him, and part of me doesnt regret not being in touch with him. I remember one time I saw him in town, he looked at me, turned the other way and hopped into a cab, like I never even existed, like he didnt know me. But that is fine, a couple of years ago, my brother and I went to visit him and he told us that he wishes he got close to his grandkids and that he is not proud of his past mistakes, which was great to hear. When my parents got divorced, I was told that he hated my mother and was extatic when my dad cheated on her and ended the marriage, like hello, what the fuck?? How can someone say that about the mother of your children?? Someday me and my Dad will sit down and talk about a lot of things, he might disown me when I speak my mind, but that is one of my best qualities I think. I have to stick up for myself, because if I won't than no one else will...So I will keep u up to date with his progress, but it doesnt look well...I love him....and I am sure as long as he is not in pain, he will be fine

SUNDAY'S...Gotta love them... :) well, I dont really have anything else to do, but work...and that is fine, because nothing is open, no shopping and nothing really to do, so anywho, we are all getting together as a team to decorate for halloween, which is awesome. We are doing a CSI theme, and playing a murder mystery, which is cool!! It is so busy here at work, so we are having a hard time with completing it all, so hopefully we will win, and I am sure we will.. ;)
But tomorrow is thanksgiving, here in Canada, and my Mother is sick, so she is making a turkey today, and lunch is in like 20 min so I cannot wait to eat!! hmmmmmm, I love turkey...lol

Other than that nothing exciting is going on, I am eager to get home, only 1 more day and than I am off for 2 days...YEAH...but anywho, nothing really to blog about, last night had some chinese food and it was delicious...on that note, it is time for lunch....talk later

ok so it has bee a couple of days since I last blogged....I actually had some things happen, life is good, I am 100% better than my last blog, I sounded kinda depressed...but oh well, everyone has its ups and downs in life right?? So lets see yesterday was pay day which is cool, gotta love when we can get some money, still cannot afford to buy myself a treat, but that is cool. Eventually I will get to spend some money...hehehehe...well on thursday we went to Sydney, Tanya had to get some "supplies"...so off we all went....got to Sydney stopped at the red light and saw two cuties in front of a car,that looked like it needed some help..well they were under the hood and just going at the car, so I figured I would be nice and offer my cell, that and a reason to talk to them...lol...but they said no thanks, they had a cell, I think the battery just died and they were trying to get the car running...lol...so as the light turned green, the girls and I laughed hysterically....so driving to the walmart in sydney river, just to eat some taco bell and do a lil shopping...nothing really exciting there, went to get my sister at a friends house and home to watch the apprentice..glad that pam one got kicked off, she always gave me the vibe that she was better than everyone else...but just as Trump said the majic word...my grandmother changed the channel, so I missed her being fired, well talking to Mark the next day...fellow co-worker, he said it was violent...but oh well...I am beginning to realize that I am addicted to reality TV....nothing like my big brother tho...I am so glad that Drew won!! He Def deservers a moment of silence....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......ok im insane...i will blog later..ta ta...lol

Days Off??

...Arent they supposed to be to allow you to be lazy or have nothing to do?? Well typically they are, but this week, oh no had to run around like a chicken with my head cut off!! Lets see, started out good, I slept in, something I rarely do, and I should stop because when I get to much sleep I find the rest of my day sucks, I tend to be cranky, because I am too tired....so fine, was going to get up go get the hockey tickets for the eagles game and than go to the mall and get a few things for work. So I live with my Grandmother and my Mom had come by to visit...well my Grandmother has been sick, so since she lives the closest (same street..LOL) she comes by all the time. We were talking and she asked me to put a payment on her layaway....gotta love Walmart....so I was like"yeah Ok, np" next thing I know my Grandmother is pulling out the check book to give my Mom some money for her bday...I knew what was coming next, "Will you go get my layaway"...so there it went, and of course I cannot say No to my Mom. Wondering what the layaway was?? A TREADMILL....lol..so I thought that wouldnt be too bad. I knew that would not fit in my Car, I drive a 99 Pontiac Sunfire...2 Door at that....lol...so I did my business, got my tickets for the game...GO EAGLES GO...went to the mall, got my bristol board for work and here comes time to get the treadmill out...I argued with my mother and told her that it would not fit in my car, and boy was I right...no way that would go in my car. So I had to go to my mother's work and get her car to pick it up. What happened, is I went to pull the back seats down in my mother's car...ya the only way to do that was lay in the trunk and pull myself all the way in to click these two fucking clips at the same time to push the seat back...ya kinda hard, when half your body is in the car and the other half is dangling out...as my mother was laughing at me, I got a little stressed...but eventually the seats went down and I was on my merry little way....all this time I was with a friend of mine...Olga..and what could she do, but laugh too, but oh well the worst part is over right??? Maybe...LOL...got back to Walmart, got the f'n treadmill and they guy says, "No Way that is going in there"..I almost strangled him, I told him he was getting that in there or else I was taking it out of the box...but what he meant is part will hang out of the car! I dont care, I live 15 min if that from the mall, shove the fucker in...so we put it in, figured out needed some rope to tie the trunk down....now I love walmart and I used to go everyday..so I ran in to get some rope..took me forever, I felt like a mouse running around a maze trying to get the rope...finally I found it, tied the trunk down and travelled on my way home...that was the worst of it, everything ran smooth on the drive home and getting it into the house..later on I set it up, looks great! Just like the one I use at the gym. I was putting it together and my Sister was supposed to help me, but she was having a crisis, eventually after me yelling at her, she came to help me, and SUCCESS!! We set it up...after all that, now I need is batteries, for the screen!! So hopefully after all this everyone will use it, because it is a great piece of equipment...well that was yesterday, lets see how things go today...I am at work....

Ok well things are changing as always, life is crazy, my mood today is confused...not sure how to really talk about it, but there is lots going on upstairs...nothing that I cannot resolve myself...but I don't know, I think I am starting to feel alone, not sure why, I have great friends and family who love me very much, I think I am ready to grow up and get my life on track....the scary thing is I dont know where to start, I have an education, a degree in business and I am working at a call center..I am obsessed with the JLO song, the one, remix feat joe budden...maybe I am crazy, I dont know, I wish I could...anywho..I met this guy online and he is much younger than me and when we first talked I thought I would be able to start a relationship with someone online and have something long distant, but when we talked he kept pressuring me and our conversations were boring, he is a sweet person, but he would say lets play 20 questions and I suck at games...and if I wanted to get to know someone I would just talk to them like we were friends and we would just talk about what we did for the day, what he likes to do on his days off, if he has siblings, not stuff like what is your favorite flower...like I dont know, maybe this is romance and how guys try tp woo ladies, but I dont know. Right now I am talking to a good friend I met online from Australia, Mark...kinda talked about him before, but we are starting to get closer and that is so cool, because he is someone I would probably never meet, and chatting with him online is cool, because we are honest with each other, I am 100% confident he is not being anyone but himself. But we are kinda of in the same mood, so maybe he is my influence, he has me thinking things..One thing I can be honest about is what I want for myself...part of me has a low self -esteem issue, if you knew me, you would be shocked to hear that, because I am the one who is always cracking jokes and always having a good time, or trying too..lol...I love my life sometimes and than I think maybe I am scared to have someone love me, who might just hurt me in the end, I have had a lot off ppl in my life do that to me, my father and my grandmother's husband...not going there....too hard to talk about....but than I also think, like I know I am not the ugliest person in the world and wonder why no one is really interested in me? Maybe it is the town I am in, the good guys around here tend to me married or gay. When I go to the bars, there are some guys there, but no one I really want, or no one really coming up to talk to me, ok this is my pitty party..I think I need to give up...but I am starting to take care of myself now, I am not an anorexic girl, I am a little fluffy...or fat as sometimes I will say to myself, and maybe that is the reason, some guys just dont like plus sized girls...even my dad says stuff to me, and he is supposed to "love" me....which I am sure he does, but I would never say anything hurtful like that to my child..but I am still going to the gym, which is great, because they really motivate me, and that is what I need...so on that note, I guess u are all thinking I am nuts...I am...it is raining outside and I am listening to slow music, so I need to get myself pumped up and ready to get to the gym..sorry to say all this...but I just felt like I needed to!!

ok i think i have officially heard it all.....i love work sometimes,I love hearing the juice and what is going on and who is banging who, just cuz I'm nosey...it is something I can live with out, well if you knew where I worked, you wouldnt be surprised to hear it allI am sure all jobs can be like that. I went drinking last night, had a blast, was supposed to go to a party, but Tanya got stuck on a call so we decided to meet them there. I was drunk..surprise surprise..lol..had a real good time, saw tons of ppl there, it was great! I love seeing ppl out that you dont see on a regular basis, whether they were smart enough to leave this crummy job I have been at for the past 3 years or just ppl that moved away and came back...like being fired for fightingon the job...lol..gotta know that girl, she is cool, and she always sticks up for herself..which can be good and bad at times....so anywho..to my whole reason for blogging today, just heard that so and so was sleeping with such and such...dont care, but the funny thing is I was informed of a new kit...lmao........anyone ever hear of the emergency kit for the bar??? Well i just thought it might be the usual rubber and maybe some body oils..nothinto exciting...but I am not a whore so that might be why I find this hilarious...ok so here it is...the emergency kit is a rubber, a wetnap and a quarter...I am assuming the quarter is to call a cab or something,but I dont know, that is too funny...so this girl, who is scary to begin with, takes this instead of her purse...lol, I guess she knows what she wants and goes for it...hehehe....the wetnap?? like I guess she takes her feminine hygeine to heart...lol....or maybe the quarter is to get another rubber and fuck the next guy she sees...seriously....lmao......ok so on that note, I guess I can create my own little kit too, well I dont know what the kit would consist of probably food, because that isone thing that makes me happy these days....lol...I guess that is it for now, I was not sick today...YEAH...lol...and ate Taco Bell, my all-time fav place...spicy chicken burrito...hmmmmm...lol...cannot wait to get drunk again, will write soon..

:)