HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
......It is that time of the year when all the kids go crazy for treats, I used to love going trick-or-treating...it was great, went until I was 17 when I finally stopped...me being greedy!! LOL....anywho things are absolutely insane for me these days, just so much going on, more family issues have arisen, I can honestly say I cannot wait for 2004 to end, hopefully things will get better next year. It just depresses me even more thinking at christmas time things will be tough...I have more ppl to buy for, but I think I am going to have to stop being so generous....I have a friend that I have been good friends for since high school almost 10 years..and she has 3 wonderful kids and it was easy to shop for them when it was just one or even 2, but the oldest is spoiled and that in parts is our fault...but we just cannot afford it anymore, he wants things that are just too expensive...but I will just have to start really early...man I love Walmart...hehehehehe....so other than that I am in training, working on macintosh computers..a cute little joke I had with a friend, was once you go MAC you never go back...the oldest line used for just about everything...from computers to men....lol...but I am absolutely impressed! Things are so much easier, they are great to use and I think it is the whole idea of a computer consisting of a monitor with everything in it..even a DVD burner....Saweet! LOL..my only issue with this particular computer is there is no right click, something I have become obsessed with on my pc along side the scroll mouse...ok now I sound like a computer person..was gonna say geek, but I am not that smart...LOL....but I am gonna miss the old ppl that I was on the previous contract with...I like learning about new stuff and getting paid an extra 50 cents an hour isnt to bad either....I have most of them on messenger and it is not like it is that far away...up a set of stairs and to the right....ok so u ever get to a point in your life where you really start thinking about things, your future and your surroundings??? Well I was talking to someone and they told me that when they turned 30 they just looked at life through another set of eyes...had some friends that just wouldnt look through the light and grow the fuck up and they said that it felt good....I have been here since 1994 and when I first moved here, I hated it, got some friends starting getting a life and than really enjoyed it here...when I turned 19 and went to univeristy life was better, or so I thought, drinking every thursday friday and sat....it was nuts..the party life was great, I never wanted it to end. But when I graduated in 2001 and started working where I am now, it just made me think of things. My life is going no where, just keep going around in a circle, the same bullshit comes and goes and comes and goes. I have met some wonderful ppl there and I have met some ppl I wish I never met. Saw a lot of true colors from a lot of ppl I thought I was close with and even messed up a friendship I had for years..over BS...so it has been almost 3 years since I have been working here and I think I have had enough. Part of me just wants to pick up and move away and not tell anyone, but than there is the other side of me who will feel guilty for leaving so many ppl behind. Friends that I have been through thick and thin with...but I am mentally exhausted, I am too old for this shit and I dont know why I just dont leave it all behind me. There are some ppl who I know will NEVER change and that is sad, because they are wonderful ppl, and wish nothing but the best, but I dont know what to say or do, Sometimes I tend to put myself in the middle of things and I just cannot help it, especially when ppl are gullible and dont see things in any other way but from what they want to believe. I dont profess to be perfect, but I have always been one of those ppl to highly believe in instincts..and I can honestly say, without patting my own back...I have been right 80% of the time, if not more....what do I do?? It is an old song and dance..and with what I am writing has NOTHING to do with any particular thing going on in my life these days...I just found that I really dont have anyone to talk to, so I feel that writing what I am feeling is very theraputic....I am not suicidal...just upset that no-one really asked me how I have been feeling...or how my grandfather is...or are you ok??? Tiffany has....and I am thankful for that....I have one person to help me with most, but I just cant tell her all....because she wouldnt want to know, and I dont want to tell....on that note...
I am gone...........
......It is that time of the year when all the kids go crazy for treats, I used to love going trick-or-treating...it was great, went until I was 17 when I finally stopped...me being greedy!! LOL....anywho things are absolutely insane for me these days, just so much going on, more family issues have arisen, I can honestly say I cannot wait for 2004 to end, hopefully things will get better next year. It just depresses me even more thinking at christmas time things will be tough...I have more ppl to buy for, but I think I am going to have to stop being so generous....I have a friend that I have been good friends for since high school almost 10 years..and she has 3 wonderful kids and it was easy to shop for them when it was just one or even 2, but the oldest is spoiled and that in parts is our fault...but we just cannot afford it anymore, he wants things that are just too expensive...but I will just have to start really early...man I love Walmart...hehehehehe....so other than that I am in training, working on macintosh computers..a cute little joke I had with a friend, was once you go MAC you never go back...the oldest line used for just about everything...from computers to men....lol...but I am absolutely impressed! Things are so much easier, they are great to use and I think it is the whole idea of a computer consisting of a monitor with everything in it..even a DVD burner....Saweet! LOL..my only issue with this particular computer is there is no right click, something I have become obsessed with on my pc along side the scroll mouse...ok now I sound like a computer person..was gonna say geek, but I am not that smart...LOL....but I am gonna miss the old ppl that I was on the previous contract with...I like learning about new stuff and getting paid an extra 50 cents an hour isnt to bad either....I have most of them on messenger and it is not like it is that far away...up a set of stairs and to the right....ok so u ever get to a point in your life where you really start thinking about things, your future and your surroundings??? Well I was talking to someone and they told me that when they turned 30 they just looked at life through another set of eyes...had some friends that just wouldnt look through the light and grow the fuck up and they said that it felt good....I have been here since 1994 and when I first moved here, I hated it, got some friends starting getting a life and than really enjoyed it here...when I turned 19 and went to univeristy life was better, or so I thought, drinking every thursday friday and sat....it was nuts..the party life was great, I never wanted it to end. But when I graduated in 2001 and started working where I am now, it just made me think of things. My life is going no where, just keep going around in a circle, the same bullshit comes and goes and comes and goes. I have met some wonderful ppl there and I have met some ppl I wish I never met. Saw a lot of true colors from a lot of ppl I thought I was close with and even messed up a friendship I had for years..over BS...so it has been almost 3 years since I have been working here and I think I have had enough. Part of me just wants to pick up and move away and not tell anyone, but than there is the other side of me who will feel guilty for leaving so many ppl behind. Friends that I have been through thick and thin with...but I am mentally exhausted, I am too old for this shit and I dont know why I just dont leave it all behind me. There are some ppl who I know will NEVER change and that is sad, because they are wonderful ppl, and wish nothing but the best, but I dont know what to say or do, Sometimes I tend to put myself in the middle of things and I just cannot help it, especially when ppl are gullible and dont see things in any other way but from what they want to believe. I dont profess to be perfect, but I have always been one of those ppl to highly believe in instincts..and I can honestly say, without patting my own back...I have been right 80% of the time, if not more....what do I do?? It is an old song and dance..and with what I am writing has NOTHING to do with any particular thing going on in my life these days...I just found that I really dont have anyone to talk to, so I feel that writing what I am feeling is very theraputic....I am not suicidal...just upset that no-one really asked me how I have been feeling...or how my grandfather is...or are you ok??? Tiffany has....and I am thankful for that....I have one person to help me with most, but I just cant tell her all....because she wouldnt want to know, and I dont want to tell....on that note...
I am gone...........
posted by capergirl at
11:35 AM
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