Ok well it is Tuesday, get a day of from work, which is always nice. I am getting ready to go into training, for yet another contract. Which is cool, getting a 50 Cent raise, which is awesome, and there is a possiblity that I will be away from my work building for that entire time. They say the training is either 38 or 34 days, I always get the shitty end of the training stick, so I am guessing I will get the shorter time...lmao. The one big thing I actually like about my job is the different contracts I have been on and the ability to learn new things. When I first started working there, I knew how to get online and do basic shit, but now I can built computers, reinstall windows, connect with dial up and cable and even work with different version of windows...ok enough of work, I am boring myself and I am the one writing it...LOL...
...ok so I am thinking alot about my life...my grandfather is deathly ill, they dont think he is going to live much longer, which is really sad, the weird thing is I was never really close to him, but he is my only biological grandfather, my father's Father, I am going to visit him, because he really doesnt have any family down here. I was there to see him on Sunday night and he was alert, but he is also doped up on drugs, he has no circulation in his legs, no use of his right leg and he is not a good candidate for surgery because they feel like he will not survive if they operate. I could tell he was happy to see me, and the reality never hit me until I saw the bracelet on his wrist...DNR...Do Not Recesitate....not good...I am sure the Dr's are taking care of him...He was a bad alcoholic and treated his family like shit, he bet my grandmother and all his kids years ago. He even chased my mom around the house one time, wanting to grab her...but I am sure he is not proud of his mistakes and I can never judge him on that. My father is coming to town next week, wish it was for better circumstances, but it is important he is here to be with him, and I am going to do my part and support him. I love my grandfather and this is hard to say, but I dont think I will cry when he passes, I was never close to him, and part of me doesnt regret not being in touch with him. I remember one time I saw him in town, he looked at me, turned the other way and hopped into a cab, like I never even existed, like he didnt know me. But that is fine, a couple of years ago, my brother and I went to visit him and he told us that he wishes he got close to his grandkids and that he is not proud of his past mistakes, which was great to hear. When my parents got divorced, I was told that he hated my mother and was extatic when my dad cheated on her and ended the marriage, like hello, what the fuck?? How can someone say that about the mother of your children?? Someday me and my Dad will sit down and talk about a lot of things, he might disown me when I speak my mind, but that is one of my best qualities I think. I have to stick up for myself, because if I won't than no one else will...So I will keep u up to date with his progress, but it doesnt look well...I love him....and I am sure as long as he is not in pain, he will be fine