OCKER CHICK...

...Now what is that you may ask?? well....it is Australian Slang for an Aussie Chick...I have met this real cool person online through hi5 and he is from Australia...lol...well here is the thing, we are just friends and that is absolutely cool...we never talk about relationship stuff and that is what I like, other ppl I have met want relationships and to have cyber sex and than there are the totally insane ones who want to get married after only talking to them for like 2 days...get a grip is what I feel like saying...I do believe that it is possible to find love online and eventually marry them, but after a day, please that is like a ceo of the company expecting you to run the place after day 1 of training...not gonna happen...but anywho...today we were talking about food and just slang in general, it is so cool, the different things that he says and what I say, I am sure we take each other's comments out of context, well probably more like me and not him...lmao....the weird thing is I dont even know what he looks like, I know he is 30 and he tells me he is blonde hair blue eyes and about 5"8 or so in height...not 100% sure of the height...but I never really thought about what he looks like, he says he doesnt have a camera or scanner, which I believe but I am starting to wonder what he looks like....we are just friends and that is totally cool, because we love the culture differences...we generally talk everyday, today was our longest chat, we talked for almost 2.5 hours...and with the 11 hour time difference it is hard to believe he is staying up that late to talk...which is cool....he works at a local grocery store and he owns his own home...which is cool...I am not sure if I want to meet him, part of me is curious, but if we never meet, that will be cool, because I truly enjoy his friendship and hope that one day I may be able to see what he looks like, to put a face to the guy I have been talking to for almost 2 or 3 months....so on that note, I guess that is it for today....

....im on a candy kick..cannot stop the sugar rush...I am getting tired now, need more...gotta jet.....lmao

SUNDAYS....

...man...do I ever hate them...they are always blah day..I did absolutely nothing last night and I should have no reason for being tired, but I am..watched a movie last night with my sister...we rented Eurotrip....kinda funny, lots of tits, which was not surprising....the shocker was seeing all the scarey naked men...man that was insane....the story was cute and it was an ok movie, not the best thing...after work, Tanya had her plans, I was supposed to go out last night with another friend, but things came up, I had to get my sister in new waterford and than get my grandmother at a party....which I didn't end up having to do....so I decided to just chill with my sis. She is having some problems and has a lot of stress in her life and me and her are starting to get close which is awesome, she is 16 and sometimes just needs someone to listen and let her talk...teenagers have so much stress in their lives these days...when I was her age things were nuts, yes, but I was moving from California to Colorado....but the kids were not as insane as they are now. To much drugs, sex and peer pressure going on, I know it was there, and maybe I wasnt part of those crowds, but it just seems to be out there more...Today it is not busy here at work, things are good...kinda hungry,although I just came back from lunch...might call Tiff during my break and see what she is doing, Tanya seems tired today, had a late night, so I think she is just going home to go to bed....I think....she has lots of secrets these days...like she is leading some kind of double life...kidding, prolly online all night...I am not a night owl, and it is weird, because in some ways I am like a child, I run and run and run and run until I am tired and than I just crash, when my head hits the pillow my body knows...get the fuck to sleep...lmao...but anywho...tomorrow going to the gym in the early AM...yeah...but one good thing is tomorrow is my friday, so I just have to finish my shift today and than 10 more hours and I get my glorious 2 days off..... Saweeeet...

Bye For Now

POTLUCK

......OMG I love food...lol..ah hello who doesnt....I guess this isnt the best way to write after my last blog....but today was potluck day....anyone not know what that it is?? Well we as a team here at work got together with another team and cooked and baked so we can have a chow down...hehehe...usually I am a professional bread buyer...bring the rolls and maybe plates and spoons and stuff...the lazy way, but this time it was different I was actually the one organizing it!! Wasnt sure anyone would really bite..no pun intended....but it was a success!! Wondering if it was the bellies that brought us all together or the fact that ppl would get a few minutes off the phone just to eat...I work at a call centre...yeah yeah yeah...and any time we dont have to talk to customers is great....LOL...
..but this time I decided to try and cook something, so I made lasagna...something easy or something hard, depends on what ppl put in it...so went to Tanya's last night and she cooked her delicious meal...spaghetti pizza and I made the lasagna...it turned out delicious and everyone loved it, kinda glad that I made it now..I think I might have a lil talent hiding in me.....well I have other talents...they will come out and play when they are ready...lmao...but it was wonderful, everyone ate and everyone had a real good time. It ran real smooth and cannot wait to do it again. I am thankful we all got together and had this good time, cannot wait until the next one.....maybe I will take charge again....LOL....
...well tata....off for now
*wink *wink

Atkins....lol...well that left as quickly as it started...a lot of shit happened and just lost my ability to stick with it. Joined the gym that week tho and I can say that I am obsessed, it is over a week there, I usually go mon to friday and giving myself the weekend off....I will go with a morning time on mondays and generally in the afternoon...or arvo, for you aussies...wink..wink...and I can honestly say I really have a good time there. I have joined the gym before and actually quit less than a week of joining. The difference with this is the fact that it is all women and the ppl do not stare at me, which can make any person have a complex, and just feel weird...I really hope that I can work out regularly and hope to see results within the next 3 weeks...or even 4 weeks, I am going to be realisitic, and maybe this time next year I will be healthier, I have been over weight my whole life and I am pushing 30 and they always say it is easier to lose weight when you are younger....and that is why I am going to do it now, or atleast try it..I dont really have a lot of money, but it is better to spend the money there and not eat out anywhere...but no matter how hard I try to prevent myself from eating out, it is just one of those things that sadly will never end...I have my weaknesses and Taco Bell is one of them...lol...but oh well since joining the gym I have lost 1.5lbs in a week which is awesome....so lets see whats shaking next??? LOL.....

POTLUCK.....

OK here we go, it is another day and yet another blog, I'm kinda in a blah kinda depressed mood today, not really upset about anything in general, I am just feeling a little moody. I had a hard week of work and I am glad that this is over, well not really a hard week, just felt like it took forever to end. Last night did nothing, which was incredible, just watched a little tv and went to be by 11pm, had a great sleep and today I was awake pretty early. Called Student loan, got them to help me lower some pmts for the month, well for 6 months atleast..than maybe I can get myself back on track...lots have happened since I started writing this blog...this is just going to be a blah moment...things were real rough for a bit, but we are getting back on track....just wonder alot about things and about ppl and why things are the way they are. I can say that I have learned an aweful lot about myself and I am glad I am who I am....I can honestly admit I made some mistakes that I wish I could take back, but atleast I can say that I took ownership for my wrong doings...no one wants to know what happened, so just leave it at that....

NIGHT OUT WITH THE GANG!

Well it was another night out with the gang, was going to be a few ppl and ended up being a few extra ppl and an interesting night. Like always whenever alcohol is involved stories always arise. My day was great, woke up earlier yesterday morning, figured I would need a few extra minutes to pack a bag. The plan??? Well we were going to head to a local bar for a fun night out. Had to have jello shooters...sometimes it is a must...lol...and I don't drink that much, but when I do, I usually do it good. I was elected to make the jello shooters and so on lunch I went to the dollar store, bought some shot glasses and headed to Tiffany's to make the jello...well at the time I followed the instructions on the box and thought cool, these are gonna be delicious...well almost 6 hours later, when we did start drinking, they were good, but sooooooooo strong, to the point that one shooter almost made me gag..lol..my friends laughed, but it was shock...lol...we were waiting all day for big brother to come on and decided we would all play a drinking game...called Pass Out...what a good time, after about an hour playing it, we were all drunk...well Tiff and Tanya more than anyone else....as her msn nic states today....Green=take a drink...needless to say everytime she rolled the dice it landed on a mark for her to take a drink...so she was trashed...lol, we all laughed....along with lots of laughter there was a fall, there is always a fall when someone is intoxicated...I missed it, but I heard them laughing, apparently there was some remodeling going on....with the counter and the sink..lmao..so it was almost midnight and we were in the mood to get out and have a good time. So off to the bar we went..Tiff wasnt feeling the best so she ended up coming to the bar for a lil and than going home...thinking we would stay for an hour and head to Sydney...had an interesting time out, saw some ppl that I have not seen in a while. Got checked out...which is always a bonus..and I even caught him doing it..lol..that is too funny. I was beyond trashed, but it was good, I had no food in my system, which was mistake number one, I was not sick today, but I am tired. I have come to the sad conclusion that I am like a child, I run and run and run around until I am tired, and when I am tired and I have had enough it is time for me to go to bed...lol...last time I looked at the clock it was 4am....I was bright eyed and bushy tailed at 10:30 this am...why??? lol...that is life....we all had an awesome night and cannot wait for the next event out...who knows when that will be. Me and Tiffany are starting the atkins diet again on monday..and than we are all joining the gym on wednesday..time to get fit!!! So hopefully things will go my way and I will start to lose weight and look good...oh well I am tired and only have 2 hours left until I can go home...so until next time....

...Day off....

ok well just another one of those day, things are going pretty good in my life, got some cool friends, met some real nice people online and things just seem to be going so far so good....knock on wood...there is this guy online, his name is Mark, and he is from australia...we have been talking for almost a month now, hard to believe and we have just become good friends. I can honestly say I don't have any romantic feelings for him, just think it is hard to fall in love with someone online, especially if you don't even know what they look like..but it is better to know the person than base a relationship on looks, could be one of the reasons I am not with anyone....sometimes I really think about myself and how I wish I was not the size I am....I know that I am the one who eats the food and doesnt have the energy to work out and get myself into shape, but sometimes I wish there was a miracle pill I could take and just become another person..I am a very confident woman and I am proud of myself, just wish that I can get myself motivated....but I think I am at that point now, I was talking to a friend online and we were just talking about eating out and going to BK and it just all of a sudden hit me, that I have to take control of my life and get my ass in gear! We are all joining the gym,and we are doing the Atkins diet, I know that it isnt a diet, it is a lifestyle change, but there are real results with this plan and going to the gym will help me tone what I lose.. I really hope I can stick with this, because I need to do something..part of me is scared that I will not find anyone to love me if I dont lose weight and the other part of me wants to smack myself in the head and say wake up idiot....lol...so today my mood is kinda mellow...just thinking of life and hoping I can motivate myself to lose weight, the girls will help motivate me, that is the best support having friends to battle the same fight with ya...but on that note, I am gonna have a good day!! I am not working and that is the best feeling ever...just wish I had some money...lol...can't always be satisfied eh?????.... LOL

Confusion..

Alright well it is almost time for my shift to end and I am just thinking here...how some ppl are just so sweet and wish u can be with them, but u know it is not possible. Dont really have anyone in mind...but just thinking about what life has in store for us all, I know that there is someone out there for me and just hope we find each other before I am old and grey...stupid things that ppl always have on their mind, and with me sitting alone, I just have no other choice but to think...lol...tomorrow is my friday, and it is a holiday, so time and a half plus 8 hours..which will be nice!! Or maybe just bring me to a normal pay before I lost a dollar an hour....life is unfair...wanted to go to school and the govt fucked it up and didn't give me enough money to get back. Stating I needed to save so much and it is just not possible, i don't make enough money at all...plus the girls also applied and Tiff didn't get any and Tanya only got 840 bucks!! Meanwhile ppl that we work with here got more money and I just don't understand how they can say 4 ppl who work at the same place will all get different amounts of money??? Don't get it??? Neither do I...well on that note I am done for the day...so ttys
:)

BLAH...

that word best describes my mood right now, I was reading a blog that was created by this guy i used to chat with online, him and I talked for a few weeks and than all of a sudden it was like I was blocked and he removed me, no real reason and it kinda shocked me. I want to say that he could have taken something I said the wrong way. There are ppl that I work with that know of him and have heard diff things about him, which didnt change my decision to talk to him. I knew that he would never be physically attracted to me, but that is fine, I liked talking to him about stuff that I have always wondered about. But the thing is, he states that he has grown up and feels that everyone deserves a second chance, well what the fuck happened and why did he block me?? I dont know, and I am not really that upset about it, just wonder what happened...right...it is ok to wonder what the deal is....So I go to his blog and read all this stuff, and had to put a comment after the whole second chance thing, there is no way he will figure out it was me, which is cool...but maybe I will write to him again, but he might think that I want something more from him, which I really don't...I did enjoy the many late night chats about bodybuilding and of course the odd time we would just give each other advice...so with that, who knows what is goin on and who knows why ppl say one thing and do another....maybe I should just write to him and see what the heck is up, but the other half tells me just to forget it, he is an asshole and if he never gave a reason for not talking to you, than he doesn't deserve to be a friend....
...am I nuts???....
............................................................................Well Aren't we all???

ok well this it, I think I am kinda getting into this writing thing again. Sometimes I wonder if anyone esle but the girls will ever read this, part of me doesnt care, but part of me hopes no one will. I would love to be totally candid, but that is just not possible...well might be if i used code names, but eventually everyone will know who they are....just guys that is it...immature bs that I shouldnt talk about. But that is the whole point of a blog right? Well lets see, new things in my life, mmm well hi5 is the new thing these days, meeting ppl online, something i never really did before but love it. I met some weirdo's but other than that there are some ppl that are really sweet, this guy from Australia, his name is Mark, we talk just about everyday, there is less than 12 hrs time difference, he is so loyal talking until 2 or 3 am his time, we just chat about the cultures and what stores they have there, that we dont have here. I have to say he is becoming a real cool person...would love to meet him, but that will never happen, I cannot afford to go there and he is the same way. Other ppl I met have kinda freaked me out....what is the obsession with webcams, everyone has to have one...I dont, and I guess that is a total turn off for ppl that want to just see my T and A. Believe me, no one wants to see that, not even me.....so that is now making me realize that it is time to seriously get my ass in gear and try and lose some weight. I have lost up and down about 17-18 lbs within a year..keeping it off when there is taco bell and other great places to eat at...but for some reason 26..makes me think that I want to get myself up and running so I will be healthier and hopefully get some...lol...well that is not a reason, but sure will be a happy ending....if u know what I mean...lmao...k Im sick...well maybe honest....So I am gonna work out with the girls and try the Atkins diet again, that didnt last too long, but my will power was kinda low....

tonight no real plans, just gonna chill with the girls and watch some big bro and maybe a lil hockey....hockey night in Canada....gotta luv it, world hockey is on now and I am being asked by my sup if I am watching the games and to watch it so we can chat about it....i know NOTHING about hockey...well a lil...and I am learning more and more everyday...until the next blog...tataa...